My dear husband has requested one last blog. I'm not sure why - I tell him everything anyway - but I figured it couldn't hurt to oblige.
My c-section is in less than 19 hours. A vaginal delivery has to suck for sure because of the pain, but HONESTLY at least you are not counting down the seconds until life changes forever. I have done so many "lasts" this weekend and I want to cry at every one. Last morning the three of us snuggled in bed (to "Super Why"). Last easy trip to church. Last lunch with just me and my girl. Last dinner that's just the three of us. Last easy trip to the bathroom and the shower (I know what I'm in for...). Last good night of sleep, since I will have to wake up at 5am to call L&D in the morning. Last easy visit to Meijer, with my big girl bagging my groceries. The thing about the second child is that you know what's coming up so it should be easier. But you KNOW what is coming up -- life will never be the same, for us or for AJ. Yes, it will be better, but change is still change.
We have used this last weekend to get things done. House is clean, fridge is immaculate, shopping is done, toys are baby-proofed for visiting relatives, meals are frozen, hospital bag is packed. Detailed instructions on how to use the TV and DVR have been printed for the in-laws. Carseat bases installed, Pack n play ready for use, baby toys waiting to be used. Laundry is done (thanks, husband). AJ and I have washed our hair and painted our nails together. We are all so incredibly prepared.
So now today I am just left with the job of calming my nerves. My doctor has given me one little Xanex that I can take at 5am before the surgery tomorrow. But today I am finding solace in ice cream. Before my jaw surgery 10 years ago, I remember sitting on my best friend's parents' couch, polishing off a pint of Ben & Jerry's Phish Food, knowing it would be my last good food for a while. So I bought myself another pint for tonight (can't eat after midnight) and I find that I've already eaten a good 40%. I can't tell you the last time I bought a pint of B&J's.....maybe before I was married? But it is calming, or at least distracting, and honestly it is damn good. Once this pregnancy is over (and recovery and breastfeeding are going well) I am going to lay off the baked goods and clean up my diet.
So while the Xanex may do no more than make me a little sleepy, the ice cream is like one final shout out to pregnancy: Thanks for the excuse to eat some junk; you've been pretty rough on me though; now let's meet this little boy!
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