My Girl

My AJ turned three today. It was a little anti-climactic after a week filled with two birthday parties and daily discussions about turning three. And it was a little bit of a downer that AJ has been kind of naughty lately. She is totally off her sleeping schedule so she's tired...and we've been traveling a lot and having lots of company, so it seems that she has decided to enter her fourth year of life with some oomph.

I flip back and forth between being so frustrated and so incredibly proud of my growing girl. I think that's pretty normal so I'm not delving into it too much. Lately I have some guilt over not being able to fully parent the way I want to. But I'm really proud of AJ's latest accomplishments. She has become scary good at puzzles, even new ones - her favorite now is 100 pieces for ages 5 and up (sorry, bragging). And physically she is doing great, flying around on her bike, jumping into the big pool, doing her little "'nastics girl" routine.

But the behavior thing is hard to get under control. No matter how I react, calm or angry, it doesn't seem to make a difference. My dad claims that I never had tantrums or talked back or misbehaved (which is maybe why I had some issues at the age of 22, but whatever) and that my sister was like a walking temper tantrum. I do remember that part. And my dad seems to remember very little of our early childhood so I have to believe him on this. I guess some kids are born with a fear of authority (me, yes I still have it) and others like AJ just don't give a rat's behind.

Anyway, I can think back to this moment three years and know exactly where I was. It's funny because there are not a lot of days when you can do that. I can picture myself in the hospital trying to figure out how to nurse, continuing to throw up my soft food diet and just staring at this tiny alien child in my arms. It wasn't until the second day that I thought, "Cool, I get to keep her." It's so scary with the first, you have no idea what is coming!!! I'm glad that is out of the way, but I must say...you can never go back and that's a tiny bit sad. So happy birthday little girl....may time slow down for us so we can take it all in and enjoy it.

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